Nu știu cum se potrivește scrierea precedentă cu faptul că azi am ascultat Brel toată ziua. Ciudat, pentru o viitoare călătorie într-un spațiu de limbă germană.
Am emoții, care cresc fără sa le fac nimic, puțin nejustificate, în fond, nu e prima expoziție, poate că da, e prima la nivelul ăsta, dar , totuși, nu e Mumok ca să mă inhibe, e Schikaneder (știu sigur că aici ceea ce simt se va transmite mult mai direct, și e minunat, e MULT mai bine, e perfect)
Poate că două săptămâni vor fi prea lungi, chiar dacă pline, pentru prima data nu sunt nerabdătoare să ma urc în avion, parca aș vrea să mai trag un pic de timp.
Nu o sa am când să-mi plâng de mila, dar plec deja ruptă pe dinauntru,.....și nu mă înțeleg. Superficială și profundă, liberă și prizonieră, simplă și cu aspirații de fashionistă, o disperată cu eleganță, vorba poetului:)
Cred ca Jaques ar pricepe. Cred ca ar încuraja-o pe Sabina să vină înapoi. Să-și reia problemele existențiale frivole care n-au legătura cu viața și cu moartea trupului, ci doar a sufletului. Cu eleganța. În ritm de vals nebun. Nebun și indecis, dar deopotrivă foarte precis. Semn de vindecare. Je suis revenue....
28 octombrie 2012
27 octombrie 2012
Poem despre iubire
Re-ascultând astăzi Passacaglia în do minor de Bach, am avut revelația formei sublime pe care o îmbrățișează.
După cum se poate afla din orice tratat muzical, Passacaglia se concretizează printr-o o temă simplă, ternară, în registrul grav, pe care se brodează un număr de variațiuni, după inspirația autorului. Dar tema nu dispare niciodata din fundal, chiar dacă variațiunile ajung în zone profund îndepărtate de incipit-ul lucrării.În Passacaglia lui Bach însă, tema se deplasează și în alte registre, mediu, acut, se variază uneori infintezimal, alteori mai substanțial, dar se păstrează recognoscibilă.
Bach a avut 20 de copii. Unii dintre ei nu au rămas prea mult lângă el...ce suferință trebuie să fi îndurat....mintea nu o poate cuprinde, nu o poate înțelege. El și-a revărsat prea plinul inimii în arta sunetelor și în educația copiiilor supraviețuitori. I-a învățat muzică și nu numai, i-a încurajat, i-a considerat mult mai valoroși ca el, a fost fericit când au început să inoveze și să schimbe paradigma muzicală în care Johann Sebastian funcționa. El a fost tema care se oferă cu generozitate pentru ca cei pe care îi iubea să poată varia, să se poată împlini....
Tot ceea ce trăim ar putea fi o formă de passacaglie. Fundamentul existenței noastre este iubirea, restul sunt simple coloraturi, mai mult sau mai puțin inspirate, după disponibilitatea pe care o manifestăm. Cu cât tema este mai profundă și directă, cu atât variațiunile se pot îndepărta mai mult, pentru ajunge apoi întotdeauna înapoi la matcă. O temă inteligentă conține toate posibilele modificări. O temă inteligentă nu se teme de schimbarea de registru, de mici alterări. O temă inteligentă oferă libertate, dar este mereu prezentă cu energie bună, caldă, cu putere, dar și cu delicatețe îngerească.
Passacaglia de Bach este un monumental poem despre iubire. Iubirea profundă care se lasă locuită de alte iubiri, mai mari sau mai mici, întotdeauna intense, pe care le amplifică, cărora le oferă libertate, semnificație, destin.
25 octombrie 2012
Fotografii pentru Matei
Matei este un baietel care are nevoie de o operatie lunga si grea, programata pentru luna ianuarie la Viena.
Operatia ii va salva viata si ii va rezolva permanent problema de sanatate.
Din pacate, parintii lui Matei nu au fonduri suficiente.
Desi i-a venit foarte, foarte greu, Bogdana a inceput o campanie pentru a strange banii necesari.
M-am hotarat sa donez si eu trei fotografii, detalii puteti citi aici:
Eu va spun doar ca fotografiile sint printate la inalta calitate, au fost prezente in expozitia festivalului InnerSound si costa 150 de euro una.
Operatia ii va salva viata si ii va rezolva permanent problema de sanatate.
Din pacate, parintii lui Matei nu au fonduri suficiente.
Desi i-a venit foarte, foarte greu, Bogdana a inceput o campanie pentru a strange banii necesari.
M-am hotarat sa donez si eu trei fotografii, detalii puteti citi aici:
Eu va spun doar ca fotografiile sint printate la inalta calitate, au fost prezente in expozitia festivalului InnerSound si costa 150 de euro una.
22 octombrie 2012
Portretul unui prieten
Cornel Brad, fotograf, tata, sot, pionier in domeniul sau, toate de succes. Un succes subtil , care inaripeaza, nu epateaza.
Copyright : Sabina Ulubeanu. All rights reserved
17 octombrie 2012
Tusea si junghiu
toti ai casei sunt raciti, in diverse stadii, numa eu nu, da ma doare rau o mana cu niste simptome ciudate pe care le-am citit acu vreo 3 ani la alte balarii si afara e soare si frumos, si nu ma pot bucura e asta, ma zgarie din cosul pieptului pana departe de tot fiecare tuse pe care o aud eterofonic si, de asemenea, stereofonic, noaptea intreaga pana spre dimineata cand ma trezesc mai obosita decat m-am culcat.
11 octombrie 2012
Cum punem closure?
Am foarte multe pe suflet, multe situații cărora nu le-am pus înca punct, nu am reușit să mă despart în totalitate de pietrele de moară.
Le-am dispersat mai întâi în muzică, în fotografii și în scris.
Încerc acum și varianta mai concretă, a realismului.
Să spunem că se poate începe cu o seară frumoasă, copiii dorm, iar din camera alăturată se aude Glenn Gould, pe Mezzo. Cu ceva minute mai în urmă m-a chemat soțul meu, să vin să mă uit, pentru că e tare interesant. Din păcate, seara asta m-a prins mai moale. Parcă mă supără un pic urmele splenectomiei, doar se schimbă vremea și unii o simt interior mai repede decât exterior. Nu reușesc să mă mobilizez, rămân cu cartea mea, sau poate era laptopul… Știu însă că, dacă dorm bine și cât de devreme, mâine dimineață am să pot trimite în bună stare copiii la școală și gradiniță. Ceea ce s-ar chema rutina oricărei case, pentru mine reprezintă o epuizantă și importantă victorie. Pentru că da, și mamele se îmbolnăvesc. Și atunci când mama nu e bine, nimeni nu e bine. Și nu, nu mă refer la o săptămînă de gripă…
Mai departe, puteți citi aici.
Poate pentru cineva va funcționa.
Le-am dispersat mai întâi în muzică, în fotografii și în scris.
Încerc acum și varianta mai concretă, a realismului.
Să spunem că se poate începe cu o seară frumoasă, copiii dorm, iar din camera alăturată se aude Glenn Gould, pe Mezzo. Cu ceva minute mai în urmă m-a chemat soțul meu, să vin să mă uit, pentru că e tare interesant. Din păcate, seara asta m-a prins mai moale. Parcă mă supără un pic urmele splenectomiei, doar se schimbă vremea și unii o simt interior mai repede decât exterior. Nu reușesc să mă mobilizez, rămân cu cartea mea, sau poate era laptopul… Știu însă că, dacă dorm bine și cât de devreme, mâine dimineață am să pot trimite în bună stare copiii la școală și gradiniță. Ceea ce s-ar chema rutina oricărei case, pentru mine reprezintă o epuizantă și importantă victorie. Pentru că da, și mamele se îmbolnăvesc. Și atunci când mama nu e bine, nimeni nu e bine. Și nu, nu mă refer la o săptămînă de gripă…
Mai departe, puteți citi aici.
Poate pentru cineva va funcționa.
Nu mi-e clar în ce epocă trăiesc
Să promovăm operele de mult validate
Noi am inventat tot ce există pe lume, să promovăm caloriferul
Experimente? nu le mai îngăduim.
N-am trăit în stalinism, dar cei care au făcut-o mi-au confirmat similitudinile. Sau, a mai existat unul, Brejnev, care a spus bătând cu pantoful în masă că muzica dodecafonică e pericol național.
Ceea ce pare să nu știe personajul cu pricina este ca artiștii nu au limite în ceea ce priveste creativitatea. Pune-le o interdicție, îndată vor prospera, înflori proiectele.
Ideile despre cum aș putea folosi caloriferul în muzica și fotografiile mele mă năpădesc efectiv. Un instrument pe nedrept ignorat, cine are copii știe ce spun. Ce instalații se pot face! Mă gândesc să le aducem și pe scena (copyright Irinel Anghel). Să îl exploatez emoțional-vizual.
Caloriferule, here we come! Experimentul nu moare el așa , cu una cu două.
Noi am inventat tot ce există pe lume, să promovăm caloriferul
Experimente? nu le mai îngăduim.
N-am trăit în stalinism, dar cei care au făcut-o mi-au confirmat similitudinile. Sau, a mai existat unul, Brejnev, care a spus bătând cu pantoful în masă că muzica dodecafonică e pericol național.
Ceea ce pare să nu știe personajul cu pricina este ca artiștii nu au limite în ceea ce priveste creativitatea. Pune-le o interdicție, îndată vor prospera, înflori proiectele.
Ideile despre cum aș putea folosi caloriferul în muzica și fotografiile mele mă năpădesc efectiv. Un instrument pe nedrept ignorat, cine are copii știe ce spun. Ce instalații se pot face! Mă gândesc să le aducem și pe scena (copyright Irinel Anghel). Să îl exploatez emoțional-vizual.
Caloriferule, here we come! Experimentul nu moare el așa , cu una cu două.
6 octombrie 2012
My darkest secret.
Am sa dezvalui cel mai crunt secret al vietii mele printr-o intrebare. A invatat cineva sa mearga pe bicicleta dupa 30 de ani?
Eu am inceput de azi, pe bicicleta Sofiei, cu saua inaltata, pe o straduta un pic in panta, fara sa dau din pedale, doar sa „curg” un pic la vale si sa pun frana . Parca am reusit vreo 5 metri incontinuu de 2 ori. dar ma simt descurajata si foarte jenata. M-am lovit cu pedalele, am indurat niste priviri nu tocmai empatice, samd.
Pe bicicleta sotului e imposibil, e prea mare si grea. Inutil de spus ca ai mei copii sunt asi in ale biciclitului. Gheorghe la 5 ani merge ca un campion deja de jumatate de an.
Tips and tricks?
Eu am inceput de azi, pe bicicleta Sofiei, cu saua inaltata, pe o straduta un pic in panta, fara sa dau din pedale, doar sa „curg” un pic la vale si sa pun frana . Parca am reusit vreo 5 metri incontinuu de 2 ori. dar ma simt descurajata si foarte jenata. M-am lovit cu pedalele, am indurat niste priviri nu tocmai empatice, samd.
Pe bicicleta sotului e imposibil, e prea mare si grea. Inutil de spus ca ai mei copii sunt asi in ale biciclitului. Gheorghe la 5 ani merge ca un campion deja de jumatate de an.
Tips and tricks?
5 octombrie 2012
am vrut sa fac o pasare....
zise Sofia si imi intinse desenul de mai jos. Nu cred ca i-a luat 2 minute sa-l faca.
3 octombrie 2012
27 septembrie 2012
Documentar despre InnerSound
In sfârșit, documentarul despre InnerSound este gata!
Mulțumim Mihai Cucu, pentru munca titanică de filmare și montare, dăruirea și talentul tău!
Mulțumim celor care ne-au oferit fragmente filmate: Cornel Brad și Ion Adam.
Mulțumim Mihai Cucu, pentru munca titanică de filmare și montare, dăruirea și talentul tău!
Mulțumim celor care ne-au oferit fragmente filmate: Cornel Brad și Ion Adam.
26 septembrie 2012
11 septembrie 2012
6 septembrie 2012
5 ani cu tine
Iti multumesc, dragul meu Gheorghe, pentru toata fericirea pe care o simt alaturi de tine, pentru candoarea, dulceata si iubirea ta.
2 septembrie 2012
it's a party
And still I photograph the inner, not the outer. That's who I am :)
At the InnerSound New Arts Festival , the AfterParty.
At the InnerSound New Arts Festival , the AfterParty.
Dreamy and happy
Just love this film noir mood.
Mihai=Sensitive
Anat = Expression
31 august 2012
My InnerSoundTears of Happines
This is going to be my very first post in English (a far from perfect English), because I am hoping that our InnerSound international guests will read it. I love playing with words and putting all my heart in them, in Romanian it feels so much easier, but I will do my best to express my feelings in a foreign language.
I want to tell the InnerSound festival story the way I felt it. It was such an emotional week for all of us, Diana, Ada, Mihai, Catalin and me.
On the 22th of August we met to review the last details of the event. It was a long, fruitful meeting, filled with inner jokes and laughter, but also very pragmatic and efficient. We covered all the aspects , but we remained conscious that a lot of unpredictable things were to happen.
In the end, the unpredictable exceeded our expectations :) In which way? Both practically and emotionally.
I won't bore you with the concrete details .
Instead, I will try to make you understand what this festival was about for me.
Above all, InnerSound New Arts Festival is a dream turned into reality. The biggest achievement of my career so far. It is the impersonation of a demolished myth: that an artist can only work alone. Seeing that our team struggled for more than one year to make this happen gives my an unreal joy. We put together all that we have: our souls, intelligence, dedication, passion, energy, creativity. Yes, even our savings, gladly.
We fought for every event to happen, we strongly believed in our goal. We talked a lot, we came with different ideas, but in the end, we never argued about anything work related!! Isn't that terrific? Please let me to tell you that it is, especially for our hot Romanian blood. To be a part of a large group of young people that have an unique goal , that is a rarity in our days. It gives you so much on the inside that is becomes overwhelming.
Then, the fact that we did it all from scratch, only form independent sources, gives us such a strong reason to go on making this festival a tradition. It empowers one.
During the first day I was experiencing a strange sensation of langour. Even though I had to speak a lot (that happened every day , I might have the strongest voice:)) ), I didn't feel that good vibe. I was too much into what was going on and too tired after the preparation for the InnerSpace, our photo exhibition.
I went to the Music University and saw a LOT of people coming, unknown faces, young and fresh and curious. I saw with pleasure also familiar faces, composers from every generation and friends. The Dublin Sound Lab show was so , so interesting, hearing the harpsichord combined with computer mediated sounds in such unusual ways! Maybe abstract for some, but truly inspiring for others. Fergal and Michel make such a good team and they have that coolness that you rarely see these days. I really, really enjoyed having them here in Romania and I am so sorry they left so early....
I didn't stay at SerpenS because I had to be at the TVR Cultural TV station to give an interview live about the festival.
Interview.
Live.
Sabina.
Make-up.
Hair stylist.
Too much already!!
I looked like a Diva and suddenly I felt SO smart and prepared to promote our work. I didn't hesitate for a second and right after the interview it hit me. I am speaking during the festival. I am one of the Artistic Directors. It is happening!!!!
You can see my interview here, from minute one the InnerSound news begins.
http://www.tvrplus.ro/editie-jurnalul-cultural-48433
I came back to UNMB floating. I was feeling a bit uncomfortable about my make up, but the „WOWs” towards me were really busting my ego :))
The show was over, SerpenS had a huge succes, so we went to celebrate.
This is the moment when I met Henry and Emmanuel, Anat was coming only the next day. I just fell in love instantly with their joy of life, with their sense of humor, their humanity and warmth. The kind of people you want to have as your friends for ever. We were a big gang and the evening was amazing! I haven't had such a great time in ages....
The next day I went to pick Emmanuel from the University and we went along with the chairs and stands to the Peasant Museum's back yard where the Silent Film Night was scheduled.
That is where the stress begun to get me. I was alone with the volunteers giving indications after indications, I had also to prepare the hall and do the set-up for the first Encounters in Time in Space concert, hear a little Laura Buruiana with my cello composition. I was truly terrible and I was conscious of that and felt Sooooo bad about it in the same time. Deadly combination :)
Finally, the people started to come, to look at the photos, to ask questions, Alexandru came punctual as always, we hugged and his presence calmed me down almost instantly. He was so composed and so sweet and caring and benevolent that he took all my worries away. Thank you Alexandru Tomescu, you are the best friend ever :)
When the first concert begun, the hall was FULL of people. In fact, we had to bring more chairs, many many more.
Tamara Dica, Alexandru and Laura gave a wonderful performance. Alexandru also spoke to the audience in his smart-funny-very kind and warm way, he was mesmerizing.
Tamara played Cornelia Zambila's work so calmly, internalized and profound that it moved me deeply. Well done girls!
Laura performed my Vers le Ciel which I have dedicated that evening to Bibi, the angel with blue eyes. She didn't know about it, and yet performed with an infinite nostalgia rather than anything else, and that left everyone in deep thought, in spite of the great applause. People came to congratulate me and told me that it was so beautiful, but the saddest thing they have heard in a long time. Think about the power of our minds. And how we can transfer our emotions through music....it is amazing.
And yes, things were coming together nicely.
I went outside only to find a HUGE amount of people waiting for the dark, so that the films could be projected onto the screen. The Shorts series begun and the girls, Ana(flutes), Maria(bassoon), Tamara (viola)and Laura(cello), were doing a fantastic job. Gabriel Bebeselea is the first young Romanian conductor to lead an ensemble playing live film music. You cannot imagine how difficult this is!! He did SO great!!!
The silent shorts were developing so interestingly , the audience was thrilled and they applauded generously after each one of them.
After the movies, Internet Opera Soul Seek, composed by Anat Spiegel was projected. What an emotional moment! What a voice! what a script!! Just goes directly to your soul.
The evening was a blast. People were asking about the performers, they wanted to buy Anat's CD's, they asked for references about the young Romanian directors, gave us their email to send them infos.
I didn't feel tired anymore, but extatic. We went home earlier and, well aware of the danger of exhaustion to my fragile health, the InnerSound Festival team decided that I needed a little break. But who could sleep? At eight I was up and ready to take care of anything that could be done from home.
Still, I have arrived at the concert hall only 2 hours before everything begun, to arrange (only verbaly, thank you Brigada de Voluntari!) the chairs for the audience and the set up for the Encounters, that evening with Maria Chifu, Ana Chifu and Irina Ungureanu.
Anat, Henry and Emmanuel were there for a long time to rehears the Wormsongs and they have basically needed me for a few very, very minor details. I had no stress, finally :) But was getting really, really emotional.
The hall was full again and the concert begun. The girls were ON!! Maria, strong and passionate and subtle, Ana, brilliant and sensitive , Irina....she was a cameleon!! Arpeghis, Cage, Barberian. Everything with such diversity, grace, humor and style!! and a superb voice. The audience was ecstatic.
We took a break and Wormsongs was on.
That was the moment when it got to me. I was experiencing the tears. At first, just a small one. The music was beautiful and the visuals so intricate and sensitive at the same time. The more I followed them, the more realistic and sentimental in the same time they got. Straight into my heart.
That was when the second stage of tears came. I couldn't stop them, but they were not too many. What Henry was doing there was too interesting and my intellect was still prevailing.
But the Wormsong Sleep came . The Lullaby. And Anat was magic and I cried. And I cried. And it was very dark so I could just cry in peace. The music was just beautiful. Too beautiful. That moment was happening in OUR FESTIVAL. There were people there, coming just to hear what we have prepared for them and the immensity of this achievement was so intense, so strong, so fantastic!!
My InnerTears were coming out. I needed to cry, for a long time, to cry for al the grief I have experienced in the last 3 years, but instead I cried for joy and happiness. And that felt so good!
After I chilled a little, I went down to the Chess game Irinel Anghel was playing with the audience. Her energy and imaginations has no limits. She made me feel so good over there. So I got into the game, played chess, danced, sang with my friends.
It was the foreplay for the after party. It begun at the Peasant Club and ended at 3 and a half in the morning in the Old City where we went dancing and chatting. I just wished time would stop right there. I want to take my new friends and their families and make them stay here forever. They love Romania, so why not? How is it possible that Henry and Diana and me having almost identical PhD themes? I mean, it is the same problem of Memory and Time viewed from slightly (but significant) different angles. Or how is it possible to meet someone and to feel free to speak about what is on your mind without inhibition and with passion like we all did in these 3 days? and genuinely listen? with REAL interest and care? It this is just a small example of what we and our guests share in common. Why be so far away? it is just NOT fair. I want to keep theeeeeeeeem! The whole InnerSound team wants that :)
I went home very late, but still could not sleep in. And then came the SMS from Diana: ”someone came to me in the subway train and congratulated me for the festival. He said he has recognized me from last night. I begun to cry”
Oh yeah. Me too, what did you think?
The pictures from the walls needed to be put down. I had a great help from my dear friend Cornel who gathered all the photos, the volunteers helped, the space was ready for the next exhibition of the Museum. We had a nice drink and meal and conversation (I have really missed Cornel for the past year...) and I went home.
This is when the second SMS came, from Ada. „Girls, I love you so much! I had a good cry today realizing what we have accomplished”
I don' t have to tell you anymore what happend that instant :))
The first edition of the InnerSound New Arts Festival has come to an end. But „after the festival ” there is only the „before the festival” state. This is why we are doing it again. Those tears tasted way too good. And now I give you our Girls Diva team and the whole InnerSound team.
I want to tell the InnerSound festival story the way I felt it. It was such an emotional week for all of us, Diana, Ada, Mihai, Catalin and me.
On the 22th of August we met to review the last details of the event. It was a long, fruitful meeting, filled with inner jokes and laughter, but also very pragmatic and efficient. We covered all the aspects , but we remained conscious that a lot of unpredictable things were to happen.
In the end, the unpredictable exceeded our expectations :) In which way? Both practically and emotionally.
I won't bore you with the concrete details .
Instead, I will try to make you understand what this festival was about for me.
Above all, InnerSound New Arts Festival is a dream turned into reality. The biggest achievement of my career so far. It is the impersonation of a demolished myth: that an artist can only work alone. Seeing that our team struggled for more than one year to make this happen gives my an unreal joy. We put together all that we have: our souls, intelligence, dedication, passion, energy, creativity. Yes, even our savings, gladly.
We fought for every event to happen, we strongly believed in our goal. We talked a lot, we came with different ideas, but in the end, we never argued about anything work related!! Isn't that terrific? Please let me to tell you that it is, especially for our hot Romanian blood. To be a part of a large group of young people that have an unique goal , that is a rarity in our days. It gives you so much on the inside that is becomes overwhelming.
Then, the fact that we did it all from scratch, only form independent sources, gives us such a strong reason to go on making this festival a tradition. It empowers one.
During the first day I was experiencing a strange sensation of langour. Even though I had to speak a lot (that happened every day , I might have the strongest voice:)) ), I didn't feel that good vibe. I was too much into what was going on and too tired after the preparation for the InnerSpace, our photo exhibition.
I went to the Music University and saw a LOT of people coming, unknown faces, young and fresh and curious. I saw with pleasure also familiar faces, composers from every generation and friends. The Dublin Sound Lab show was so , so interesting, hearing the harpsichord combined with computer mediated sounds in such unusual ways! Maybe abstract for some, but truly inspiring for others. Fergal and Michel make such a good team and they have that coolness that you rarely see these days. I really, really enjoyed having them here in Romania and I am so sorry they left so early....
I didn't stay at SerpenS because I had to be at the TVR Cultural TV station to give an interview live about the festival.
Interview.
Live.
Sabina.
Make-up.
Hair stylist.
Too much already!!
I looked like a Diva and suddenly I felt SO smart and prepared to promote our work. I didn't hesitate for a second and right after the interview it hit me. I am speaking during the festival. I am one of the Artistic Directors. It is happening!!!!
You can see my interview here, from minute one the InnerSound news begins.
http://www.tvrplus.ro/editie-jurnalul-cultural-48433
I came back to UNMB floating. I was feeling a bit uncomfortable about my make up, but the „WOWs” towards me were really busting my ego :))
The show was over, SerpenS had a huge succes, so we went to celebrate.
This is the moment when I met Henry and Emmanuel, Anat was coming only the next day. I just fell in love instantly with their joy of life, with their sense of humor, their humanity and warmth. The kind of people you want to have as your friends for ever. We were a big gang and the evening was amazing! I haven't had such a great time in ages....
The next day I went to pick Emmanuel from the University and we went along with the chairs and stands to the Peasant Museum's back yard where the Silent Film Night was scheduled.
That is where the stress begun to get me. I was alone with the volunteers giving indications after indications, I had also to prepare the hall and do the set-up for the first Encounters in Time in Space concert, hear a little Laura Buruiana with my cello composition. I was truly terrible and I was conscious of that and felt Sooooo bad about it in the same time. Deadly combination :)
Finally, the people started to come, to look at the photos, to ask questions, Alexandru came punctual as always, we hugged and his presence calmed me down almost instantly. He was so composed and so sweet and caring and benevolent that he took all my worries away. Thank you Alexandru Tomescu, you are the best friend ever :)
When the first concert begun, the hall was FULL of people. In fact, we had to bring more chairs, many many more.
Tamara Dica, Alexandru and Laura gave a wonderful performance. Alexandru also spoke to the audience in his smart-funny-very kind and warm way, he was mesmerizing.
Tamara played Cornelia Zambila's work so calmly, internalized and profound that it moved me deeply. Well done girls!
Laura performed my Vers le Ciel which I have dedicated that evening to Bibi, the angel with blue eyes. She didn't know about it, and yet performed with an infinite nostalgia rather than anything else, and that left everyone in deep thought, in spite of the great applause. People came to congratulate me and told me that it was so beautiful, but the saddest thing they have heard in a long time. Think about the power of our minds. And how we can transfer our emotions through music....it is amazing.
And yes, things were coming together nicely.
I went outside only to find a HUGE amount of people waiting for the dark, so that the films could be projected onto the screen. The Shorts series begun and the girls, Ana(flutes), Maria(bassoon), Tamara (viola)and Laura(cello), were doing a fantastic job. Gabriel Bebeselea is the first young Romanian conductor to lead an ensemble playing live film music. You cannot imagine how difficult this is!! He did SO great!!!
The silent shorts were developing so interestingly , the audience was thrilled and they applauded generously after each one of them.
After the movies, Internet Opera Soul Seek, composed by Anat Spiegel was projected. What an emotional moment! What a voice! what a script!! Just goes directly to your soul.
The evening was a blast. People were asking about the performers, they wanted to buy Anat's CD's, they asked for references about the young Romanian directors, gave us their email to send them infos.
I didn't feel tired anymore, but extatic. We went home earlier and, well aware of the danger of exhaustion to my fragile health, the InnerSound Festival team decided that I needed a little break. But who could sleep? At eight I was up and ready to take care of anything that could be done from home.
Still, I have arrived at the concert hall only 2 hours before everything begun, to arrange (only verbaly, thank you Brigada de Voluntari!) the chairs for the audience and the set up for the Encounters, that evening with Maria Chifu, Ana Chifu and Irina Ungureanu.
Anat, Henry and Emmanuel were there for a long time to rehears the Wormsongs and they have basically needed me for a few very, very minor details. I had no stress, finally :) But was getting really, really emotional.
The hall was full again and the concert begun. The girls were ON!! Maria, strong and passionate and subtle, Ana, brilliant and sensitive , Irina....she was a cameleon!! Arpeghis, Cage, Barberian. Everything with such diversity, grace, humor and style!! and a superb voice. The audience was ecstatic.
We took a break and Wormsongs was on.
That was the moment when it got to me. I was experiencing the tears. At first, just a small one. The music was beautiful and the visuals so intricate and sensitive at the same time. The more I followed them, the more realistic and sentimental in the same time they got. Straight into my heart.
That was when the second stage of tears came. I couldn't stop them, but they were not too many. What Henry was doing there was too interesting and my intellect was still prevailing.
But the Wormsong Sleep came . The Lullaby. And Anat was magic and I cried. And I cried. And it was very dark so I could just cry in peace. The music was just beautiful. Too beautiful. That moment was happening in OUR FESTIVAL. There were people there, coming just to hear what we have prepared for them and the immensity of this achievement was so intense, so strong, so fantastic!!
My InnerTears were coming out. I needed to cry, for a long time, to cry for al the grief I have experienced in the last 3 years, but instead I cried for joy and happiness. And that felt so good!
After I chilled a little, I went down to the Chess game Irinel Anghel was playing with the audience. Her energy and imaginations has no limits. She made me feel so good over there. So I got into the game, played chess, danced, sang with my friends.
It was the foreplay for the after party. It begun at the Peasant Club and ended at 3 and a half in the morning in the Old City where we went dancing and chatting. I just wished time would stop right there. I want to take my new friends and their families and make them stay here forever. They love Romania, so why not? How is it possible that Henry and Diana and me having almost identical PhD themes? I mean, it is the same problem of Memory and Time viewed from slightly (but significant) different angles. Or how is it possible to meet someone and to feel free to speak about what is on your mind without inhibition and with passion like we all did in these 3 days? and genuinely listen? with REAL interest and care? It this is just a small example of what we and our guests share in common. Why be so far away? it is just NOT fair. I want to keep theeeeeeeeem! The whole InnerSound team wants that :)
I went home very late, but still could not sleep in. And then came the SMS from Diana: ”someone came to me in the subway train and congratulated me for the festival. He said he has recognized me from last night. I begun to cry”
Oh yeah. Me too, what did you think?
The pictures from the walls needed to be put down. I had a great help from my dear friend Cornel who gathered all the photos, the volunteers helped, the space was ready for the next exhibition of the Museum. We had a nice drink and meal and conversation (I have really missed Cornel for the past year...) and I went home.
This is when the second SMS came, from Ada. „Girls, I love you so much! I had a good cry today realizing what we have accomplished”
I don' t have to tell you anymore what happend that instant :))
The first edition of the InnerSound New Arts Festival has come to an end. But „after the festival ” there is only the „before the festival” state. This is why we are doing it again. Those tears tasted way too good. And now I give you our Girls Diva team and the whole InnerSound team.
With love,
happily crying Sabina
photo: Alma Ghiulea.
From left to right, Diana Rotaru, Artistic Director, Ada Hotinceanu, our PR and angel, Sabina Ulubeanu, Artistic Director
Photo: Henry Vega
Diana, Sabina, Catalin Crețu -President of Opus Association, Ada, Mihai Cucu -Visual Identity
25 august 2012
The show must go on?
A fost cel mai greu lucru pe care l-am facut vreodata.
Sa sa ma ocup de festival cand inima mea plange. Am reusit doar pentru ca este un proiect in care cred si care va fi minunat.
Cine a zis the show must go on cred ca luase ceva in seara aia :(
Pentru ca spectacolul nu va putea niciodata sa continue la fel.
Azi ne despartim pentru totdeauna de trupul efemer care l-a gazduit pe Bibi, asa cum adevarat a spus Loredana.
Iar eu astept luna septembrie ca sa pot plange in trei zile tot ce nu am plans in 3 ani, ca sa pot merge mai departe.
21 august 2012
Bibi. Un inger
Cum as putea spune printre lacrimi grele cine a fost Bibi? am inceput inca de dimineata sa scriu si nu imi gasesc cuvintele.
Cum pot sa spun ca nu mai e, cand inca il simt la mine in brate, cand am avut privilegiul si onoarea de sta de vorba, de a ne juca, de a ne zambi, pur si simplu de a intalni o astfel de faptura minunata, chiar daca doar pentru cateva ore.
Bibi a trecut prin aceasta lume cu o candoare si intelepciune ce reprezinta lectii pentru orice adult care a uitat de ce traieste.Bibi , cel care avea o curiozitate intelectuala iesita din comun, Bibi, un copilas care a trait in 2 ani cat altii in 10 vieti.Bibi, care nu a fost niciodata apatic, in ciuda bolii grele, Bibi, care a trait cu sufletul, nu cu trupul, Bibi, cel care reprezinta trimful spiritului in fata destinului.
In plus, Bibi a unit in jurul lui foarte multi oameni, a scos ce era mai bun din noi, ne-a daruit posibilitatea de a fi mai generosi, de a iubi mai mult.
Poate ca era mult prea minunat pentru a rezista aici. Poate ca suntem egoisti cand dorim ca fiintele acestea sublime sa ne lumineze viata.
Acum, Bibi ne-a ajutat sa ne amintim de ce e important, sa nu ne ferim de suferinta, de durere, pentru ca acolo unde este chin, este si multa fericire.
Loredana si Bogdan sunt cei mai extraordinari parinti pe care i-am cunoscut vreodata. Dragii mei, sa nu va indoiti nicio secunda ca ati facut totul pentru baietelul vostru. Totul plus imposibilul.
Ma inclin in fata voastra si va iubesc nespus.
Cum pot sa spun ca nu mai e, cand inca il simt la mine in brate, cand am avut privilegiul si onoarea de sta de vorba, de a ne juca, de a ne zambi, pur si simplu de a intalni o astfel de faptura minunata, chiar daca doar pentru cateva ore.
Bibi a trecut prin aceasta lume cu o candoare si intelepciune ce reprezinta lectii pentru orice adult care a uitat de ce traieste.Bibi , cel care avea o curiozitate intelectuala iesita din comun, Bibi, un copilas care a trait in 2 ani cat altii in 10 vieti.Bibi, care nu a fost niciodata apatic, in ciuda bolii grele, Bibi, care a trait cu sufletul, nu cu trupul, Bibi, cel care reprezinta trimful spiritului in fata destinului.
In plus, Bibi a unit in jurul lui foarte multi oameni, a scos ce era mai bun din noi, ne-a daruit posibilitatea de a fi mai generosi, de a iubi mai mult.
Poate ca era mult prea minunat pentru a rezista aici. Poate ca suntem egoisti cand dorim ca fiintele acestea sublime sa ne lumineze viata.
Acum, Bibi ne-a ajutat sa ne amintim de ce e important, sa nu ne ferim de suferinta, de durere, pentru ca acolo unde este chin, este si multa fericire.
Loredana si Bogdan sunt cei mai extraordinari parinti pe care i-am cunoscut vreodata. Dragii mei, sa nu va indoiti nicio secunda ca ati facut totul pentru baietelul vostru. Totul plus imposibilul.
Ma inclin in fata voastra si va iubesc nespus.
17 august 2012
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